Saturday, December 20, 2014

I hate myself

Why do you still care?
And why don't you care at all?
Why does the only person I want to love me not even care I'm alive

I hate my body
My personality
Everything
All it does is disgust people
There is nothing worth sticking around for
Nothing
I repel people and they take away their love
Because I'm not worthy of it

You forgot about me



Wednesday, December 17, 2014

i'm just going to listen to taylor swift forever then
they've never been this high before
thick walls around my mind
no one's getting in anymore
my heart is only mine

for years they were still scale-able
some hope remained in tact
but now they are impossible
the smile's just an act

i don't care for handsome liars
for their webs of cold deceit
if anyone is going to hurt me
it's going to be me

it will be different when i'm thin

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Drowning

I want help but I want to be skinny too

The source

It all boils down to self hatred.
I get hurt because I believe it but know that I shouldn't.
And everytime I get hurt, I do that thing even more.
To make myself better.
To try and prove them wrong.
To prove to myself that I can do something right.
I'm not ok.

Escalating

I guess I can't control it now