Tuesday, April 15, 2014

chronic pain

my whole body hurts; between the injections and the arthritis, every single body part hurts

my heart aches

and my brain won't stop

just leave me be

i had another dream about you last night

it felt so real

you texted me and asked if we could talk; you ended things with emma because you just couldn't pretend you were ok anymore

you apologized

you opened up about everything you've been feeling and the motivations behind all your actions

i was right about it all and i told you that i know

you held my hand and i started bawling my eyes out to you

about how much i missed you and loved you

i woke up bawling

and kept bawling when i realized it was all a dream.

Monday, April 7, 2014


just booked my first hiking trip of the season!!!
may 9-11th will be spent exploring frontenac provincial park
i wish i could start packing already!
i suppose making a list of the gear i want to get before hand will have to sustain me :-)

like a broken pencil

falling in love is pointless

Sunday, April 6, 2014

no contact

the silence is the worst part

someone tell me how.

how do you accept yourself
when those who promised they always would,

how do you love yourself
when those who promised they always would,

how do you move on
when those who promised they'd never leave,

how do you breathe
when you've been winded?
how do you think
when you've been broken?
how do you feel
when you've been numbed?

when your chest is heavy
and your feet won't lift off the ground?
when every breath hurts a little more
and every second is a little more real?