Sunday, August 23, 2015

i've met my true love

there was a time when i was lonely
i was guarded, i was sad

& then i met you

there was a time when i felt nothing
i was careless, i was numb

& then i met you

an empty heart once filled my chest,
despondent, purely blue 
wishing for someone to love
& then i met you 

the first time that you touched me 
it was just like movies said;
something changed inside of me 
as all of you rushed to my head 

i could say it felt like magic, 
i could say it felt like fate, 
and in fact, it felt like everything 
you'd feel with your soulmate 

i love you more than anything
you're the water in my rain
the meaning of my smile
and the coals beneath my flame 

i've been dreaming of our future
conjuring pictures in my mind
of front porch swings and wedding rings 
of your heart faded into mine 

i've met my true love 
i am his and he is mine 


Saturday, August 22, 2015

Thursday, May 28, 2015

how i will be a better partner


  • be honest about my feelings
  • do not apologize for being hurt or making him feed bad about a valid issue you have
  • communicate with the intent to solve the problem together instead of to make him feel as bad as i do 
  • understand and accept flaws
  • chose not to be petty 
  • do not demand to be first priority, i am not in a position to have that expectation 
  • make fair judgments
  • chose a loving response over a confrontational one 
  • forgive unintentional hurt feelings without announcing it 
  • accept that i desire an unreasonable amount of love and attention and appreciate how much i get already
  • do not resent that i am not his entire world 
  • do not be jealous where no reason exists 
  • stop doubting his love and intentions; he isn't like the others 
  • trust that he means what he says 
  • love him with all of my heart and do not forget to show it 
  • try my best to be a kind, loving, reassuring and stable person always 
  • be the partner that i want and lead by example  

tomorrow and forever

It's overwhelming how I love you
How I always crave your touch
I didn't know I had it in me
To want a person quite this much

I can't imagine another love
There is no one after you
It may be early but I am sure
I'll never do better than you

I want to wake up tangled in your arms 
See your smile every day
Sleep together in a bed we've made 
Until we're old and grey


This is going to work.

I know it will.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Please.

Please, PLEASE be as dedicated to making this work as I am.

I know you love me. I know you do. But not on the same level that I love you. You love me for selfish reasons, for the things I do for you or make you feel. I love you for reasons that would still exist no matter what our relationship is. My love wouldn't stop if you stopped loving me back. I know yours would.

I am terrified of you forgetting that you love me this summer.

I will be gone a lot. I don't know if you have thought about what that really means. I will be a name in your phone inbox a majority of the time. Is your love strong enough to put a hundred memories behind my name? To remember why you love me? Will you get lonely and start talking to Morgan more? Will she become who you text when you're bored? And then who you text when you wake up? Or go to bed? Will she take you from me? I am absolutely devastated just imagining it.

I don't know if you truly know your feelings. I know mine: I want to be with you with every beating of my heart. I want us to last. I wish I could look into your mind and see where you stand.

I am starting to freak out about us. I don't want to live without you. But I don't want to be unwanted and trapped again. I am putting my guard back up. I can't live so exposed.

lonely, jealous & insecure

i know you think you love me,
and on some level, i'm sure you do.
but it doesn't burn you up inside,
not like how i love you.

when i see how you don't need me,
while i've yet to catch my breath,
i can feel my heartbeat fading,
as it sinks lower in my chest.

and then i think about her.
and my vision clouds with doubt.
maybe one day you'll get lonely,
and i won't be around.

what if while i was missing you,
thinking you didn't have the time,
you were busy texting her,
and she was stealing what was mine?

i refuse to live in loneliness.
not again, not like before.
i'm tired of being jealous,
sick of feeling insecure.

because, whether you're gone a minute,
or an hour,
or a day,
i miss you every second,
and just wished you felt that way.