she waits

she is strong and self-sufficient
no, she doesn't need no help
but boy does it get awful lonely
in her fortress by herself

she is lovely and soft spoken
no, she never likes to yell
but boy does it get awful quiet
in her fortress by herself

by herself, she'll pace the wall
scanning down below
looking out for the bad guys
or someone come to say hello

she built her stone walls far away
from anyone alive
though the whole world is just down the lane
it's not safe to go outside

inside the walls she built herself
are her passions, are her things
it's not safe to go outside, she says
she'll wait for the bell to ring

Cry

I wish I could cry. I mean, I can cry, my tear ducts are fine. But I wish I could cry and not feel guilty about it, knowing that every tear sends me closer to death. I want to cry and think of nothing but what is making me sad. I want to cry with reckless abandon. I want to indulge myself and let it out. When I cry, a few tears make it down my cheek before I wipe them away and test. If I'm upset enough to cry, I'm upset enough to be unbelievably high. What a luxury it is, to be able to cry.

you and i

we're different, you and i
you start to cry and you tell me to smile
oh we're different, you and i
look in my eyes, dear, once and a while

days are flying, right on passed me
fast approaching the day that i need you most
but we're different, you and i
i'm looking forward, you're chasing yesterday's ghost

give up your pride
for a moment
give up your pain, give up your fear
i need you now, for a moment
to wipe away my tears

oh we are different, you and i
i'd never forget that day you died
oh we're different, you and i
you told me to smile when i needed to cry

the day

words
streaming out his mouth
you were crying and i was still
lost in his words
lost in it all
you both spoke
made plans with your words
but i didn't know
what language you were speaking
blur
all a blur
crying
you were crying
still
i was still
still,
i remember it all
my ears did not register your sounds
my eyes could not register the scene
it happened and i didn't know how
still in the front seat
no words

i can't wait to stop getting all these needles

honey, this is forever

happy anniversary

sitting in a room on a bed of white
too young and too naive
i knew it would end, i'd be done
until you looked me in the eyes

this is forever

colors blurred
life flashed before my eyes
too young and too naive
for it to end, too young to end

half a life in fear
half a life in pain

i better make something of forever