Tuesday, October 25, 2011

tell me how i got here

composures getting harder
days are getting longer
my eyes aren't getting drier
baby now i need you

blink back tears for the thousandth time
paint a smile, say i'm fine
but you're still not here
baby now i need you

i could swear you're getting farther
the miles multiplied
because it didn't used to seem so far
you were closer than you are now

baby now i need you

tswift- back to december

turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

alone in the cafe

i didnt know what this feeling was
until you never asked my name
so today i'll just tell you

Monday, October 3, 2011

Sunday, October 2, 2011


1. yesterday i hugged a tree for a few minutes to try and feel a hundred years on my chest
2. i like the smell of leaves
3. i want a bunny
4. i wish i was tiffany aching from the discworld series
5. i want a dragon
5. i wish i was a witch
6. i watch myself think
7. i love my gecko
8. i throw all my clothes into my closet to make my room look clean
9. kind of like in my life
10. i just lolled
11. i like singing under my breath on walks
12. i pretend im in regency england when im by myself out doors
13. i love wildlife club!!!!!!!
14. guelph is the best place in the entire world
15. but i miss my best friends
16. i started crying yesterday thinking of seeing bianca
17. im starting to cry again because i just thought about her f
18. its ruining my mascara
19. my mouth tastes weird right now
20. tooooooooo mannnyyyyy pancakkkesssss
21. i feel loopy
22. but i love it
23. i want to research
24. i like talking to older, more knowledgeable people and learning!!!
25. i think i look different in pictures
26. i feel like dancing
27. i shake my leg when im sitting
28. so is one leg going to get way stronger than the other?
29. inheritance cycle book 4 comes out in 36 days
30. WOOHOOO!!!
31.i like that theres mud on my shoes
32. i want to watch planet earth
33. me and bianca could write for snl, i just know it
34. a girl said she liked my hedgehog sweater, weeeehooooiee!!
35. this is so fun to write!!!
36. what would i look like with red hair?? hmmm...
37. dont hate me for being fabulous!
38. lolololol
39. trees make me happy, they just keep growing
40. lions are cool
41. i wish i had a diabetic friend
42. i love special k, that sexy fox
43. my hands are colddddddddd
44. hilary duff is pissing me off
45. wheres a snuggie when you need one?
46. i drink too much coffee
47. and have a sever drug habit
48. but dont worry, they're prescription!
49. muahaha i had you going there didnt i? woohoo insulin!
50. turtles are so cool
51. and manta rays are bitchin
52. salamanders are so cute!!
53. i miss baking :(
54. and birdssssssssss
55. i like walking past the barns because for some sick reason i like the poop smell
56. it reminds me of being outdoorsy and shit
57. i hate shaving my legs, such a hassle
58. im screwed for  my midterm
59. i wanananannana take invert bio nooooow
60. i like me!!! :) xoxox insulin chick suck on dat motha fuckas

the girl who smiles at the sun

my two feet are on the ground
dig my toes into the turf
feel the world beneath me
pulling me away

second thoughts
and three times thinking
watching nothing stay the same
but i know who i am

im the girl who smiles at the sun
and wishes she knew more
a little scarred and a little scared
just stepped in and out the door

i love you but i dont need you

all i want is independance
but thats impossible for me
and im stuck with this dependance
while all i want is to be free

of the tubes, of the checks
of the noose around my neck
of the pain, of the stress
of this life i call a mess

i want to leave at five in the morning
just to show myself i can
i want to tear it off and throw it out
and make some room for someone else

but its packed inside my head
no room left beside this shit
and you're great, you're amazing
but i can't let you in

i cry about being lonely
but these tears are self-inflicted
i dont need anyone to help me
i just want to be set free

of the tubes, of the checks
of the noose around my neck
of the pain, of the stress
of this life i call a mess

i just want to be alone forever
alone inside my head
because i'm the only one who understands me
and i dont need to depenend
on anyone else, ever

hello dear heart

i saw you first across the room
your eyes broke through my heavy gloom
just one glance and something changed
your heart jumped and mine did the same

your smiles real
and so is mine
and i see something over time
that'll break my heart
and heal these scars

and we'll grow up
and we'll grow close
our pasts, our ghosts
will leave us alone

hello dear heart
its nice to meet you
im the girl you're waiting for
the girl thats going to complete you

so come and say hello
come and say your name
say that you love me
and wont go away
im the reason you live
and the reason you breathe
that you need me more
than i could ever believe
say that its me

dear heart come say hello