Thursday, February 26, 2015

when i look into my future
i see missed chances and unfulfilled dreams
one-sided friendships and heartbreaking regrets
everything that once seemed promising
now seems bleak

back here again

i don't want to be here
i want to crawl into a warm hole and just cease to exist
i'm tired of bullshit
i'm tired of not knowing if they love me or hate me
i'm tired of not being good enough for anyone
i don't want to finish school and be alone
no job, no friends
stranded here with nothing
i'm scared and i've never felt so alone
i want it to end
i want to end

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

the real deal.

it's scary just how real this seems
how it's not just in my head
how i might just be believing
everything that you've said.

this might just be the real deal
the kind i dreamt about before


i've never felt so crazy;
felt so open, felt so free.
i've never wanted someone,
to unravel all of me.

sometimes you stop and look at me,
searching for it on my face.
your heart is beating wildly,
and mine has matched its pace.

i know we haven't said it,
but i can see it in your stare.
i can feel it suffocating me,
whenever you're not here.

no, it hasn't passed your lips yet,
but i can see it in your brain.
every time you say "it's nothing",
i know it's on your tongue again.


you're everything i'm looking for,
and i'm terrified that you'll cheat on me.

please don't.

the thought of it makes me sick.

the thought of you with someone else kills me.

the thought of walking in on it is tearing me up.

please, please, please,
i'm begging you, please,
don't cheat on me.