I wish I could cry. I mean, I can cry, my tear ducts are fine. But I wish I could cry and not feel guilty about it, knowing that every tear sends me closer to death. I want to cry and think of nothing but what is making me sad. I want to cry with reckless abandon. I want to indulge myself and let it out. When I cry, a few tears make it down my cheek before I wipe them away and test. If I'm upset enough to cry, I'm upset enough to be unbelievably high. What a luxury it is, to be able to cry.