i'm acting more excited than i am
i love it when i'm with you
but when i'm not... i'm empty
you say such nice things and i know i should be excited about them so i act excited about them
but inside... the waters are calm
i don't know
i feel like a dick
i know that in another time i would be head over heels for you
and that's the time i want to be in
i think i've just numbed myself to love so effectively that i don't know how to make it go away now
and then i wonder... is this me being so down? or is it the depression? how could i actually feel that way? there are times when i'm so happy about you... are those manic times? i'm so scared of fucking this up because i'm messed up and cold and you're perfect and warm
how do i love again when the last time ended so cruelly?
why am i so cold?