Wednesday, November 10, 2010

sans sucre

hey dolphins,

i feel low.
but i am not.
but my body will not let itself sleep, because it feels low.
dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

and the stresses i am currently shouldering are making me run a tad high. i think i might play with a temporary basal.. 10%? 15%? i dont know. i dont want to run a tad low either. running a tad low always results in running into problems with this little lady. im too prone to seizures. id like to think that ill lay back down and the problems will fade behind a curtain of tranquility, and the suga mama will coast down to a beautiful 6.2. but we all know that would be too easy.

im stressed and it screws my levels, then my screwed levels make me stressed, and become even more screwed.

its a vicious cycle which will only end when i die. hurray.

diabetes is annoying. i feel like my brain never gets a second to rest, im always calculating and back tracking and berating myself for messing up.

and i feel low.

and mad and sad and ugly and angry.

living the teenage dream.

i hope we all wake up in our beds and pajaymas not a hospital room and gown,

insulin chick

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